In 1995 I met James' mother (Amanda) and he was born in November 1996.
She already had older children, in particular George, who about 18 months older had been born after his father had died. Amanda always regarded herself as a widow (even though never actually married) she was truly in love with George's dad (also named George).
We were supposed to be co-parenting, but I have always claimed that 'I have had James almost since birth', not quite true but pretty much so!
He lived with me most of the time – he had his own single waterbed and a set of bunks for when friends stayed.
But a couple of things stood out – long before he went to school he had to come into the office and did such tasks as reformatting floppy disks (had his own desk even).
His main job was to make our coffee though.
We had a coffee machine, a little stool for him to get up to it and the fridge for the milk and to get coffee all any of us had to do was to hold our cup up in the air and say 'coffee please James' .
He really was a most useful member of the staff!!!
He also came with me on many, many jobs, often sleeping on the floor at the very front of the bus or van.
George also joined us on occasion, but not on a regular basis.
I enrolled James at primary school in Christchurch too.
Amanda simply left it to me to arrange and do, but we decided that he should stay with her during the week because Linwood Ave school was, indeed, so close and George was already there.
I used to collect him after school each Friday, have him at home Fri, Sat and Sun nights then drop him at school by 9 a.m. on the Monday morning.
As I was still working full time, and sometimes through the night – there was really no option but for him to come to work with me again.
I well remember the phone regularly ringing about 2 a.m. with an urgent job for me to do and calling out “Passengers James” to which he would reply (in a somewhat sleepy voice) I'll get my sleeping bag!!
Quite often regular passengers would say 'have you got your boy sleeping up there?'
It was not unheard of for people to give me a tip to 'give this to James', even on days/nights that he was not there.
Quite happy times actually!!
When disaster struck and I had to get out of Christchurch, what to happen with James raised its ugly head.
Amanda and I agreed that he would continue to stay in Christchurch, live with her and continue with his schooling.
But I would (at my expense) bring him up to Duck Creek for all school holidays.
This I managed to do. But return airfares 4 times a year really was a struggle financially particularly until I got my part time job.
On one such visit James said I really wish George could see how good it is here. My reply was that I was having enough trouble paying for one boy let alone two but I would do my best.
A month or so later though through a windfall of sorts I did manage to fund a '2 boy return trip' for the next holidays.
So in May/June 2005, I went to Auckland Airport to collect them.
The hostess said chattily, ok boys see you at the end of the holidays! Their reply 'oh we are not going back home, we are staying here with Dad'. Yeah Right.
After a few days I sat them down and tried to get to the bottom of things. James was 8 by now and George about 18 months older. James said something along the lines 'you did say I could go to school here, isn't there a school bus at the gate? ' Cheeky bugger he knew who drove the school bus.
I therefore rang their mother who said, 'oh yes they said they weren't coming back'!!!!!!! 'But can you cope with them both?'
I had no idea, but as I was turning 65 later in the year we agreed that I would cope somehow until then. She would come up for my big party, we would then sit down and seriously discuss our collective future.
So I had two boys to enrol in different classes at Hikuai School (our local primary with just under 100 pupils), got uniforms, school supplies etc.,etc.
I am thrilled to say that at Hikuai School each pupil was required to swim to a certain standard before leaving. With extra lessons after school if necessary, this has, no doubt stood them all in very good stead over the years. So many schools have abdicated teaching what I see as a vital skill.
I drove their school bus each day.
I also had to enrol them in the local library, local medical centre etc.
We all lived in Chalet #2, I set up their room with 2 bunks for them and another bed for any friends who stayed.
This made me a school parent as well as the bus driver.
The Original Humphrey #9
HOWEVER As my 65 birthday (and party) drew closer Amanda became harder and harder to contact. Needless to say she did not show. (I had become resigned to having to pay her airfare). I had stopped paying child support (as I had both boys with me) but neither was I getting support from her or any other outside source.
On the day of my birthday party I sat the boys down and explained the situation, and said, 'looks like it is just us'.
Their reply 'Great'
The party itself was indeed great, held at the Duck Creek Inn (now closed) with friends attending from throughout New Zealand (and Australia).Plenty of Ngahere Gold beer, South Island wine etc.
I had written a speech to bring everyone up to date, aiming to make it 10 mins long but it turned out to be somewhat longer.
I arranged for George (who by now was calling me Dad too) to have a devil's staff threatening to poke anyone who went to sleep.
I have tried, and tried to find it to include in this book but so far without success.
The Boys And Me
With Sister Sue
The kids (James, George, Elish etc) sang my favourite song 'Lets go fly a kite' as my birthday treat.
Eventually George progressed to attending Thames High School, where it seemed he got mixed up with some people I still do not approve of, James still at Hikuai.
One thing George was exceptionally good at was Surf Lifesaving.
Not only did he fit in very well, but was extremely competent, and was always up for extra shifts. By this time we were living at El Dorado Leader in Pauanui so he walked to the beach on his own.
George was also a budding cook or chef – he was able to match the Gordon Ramsey challenge and I was quite proud of him.
I did manage to get Amanda up to stay and spend time with her boys from time to time – we remained good friends until her death in 2013, and by this time she had had another child – Bonnie.
We had Bonnie's birthday party at Coroglen Tavern one year and we all felt quite sorry for the situation her father (Pete) and her mother found themselves in.
After one such visit it was suggested that Bonnie should join her brothers with me, but this never eventuated. Eventually, Haydee (the oldest sister) agreed to take Bonnie on.
This worked out really well. Haydee lived close to the local Kaukapakapa school, arranged after school care for Bonnie and did all the right things! One thing we did do at that time was that about once a month we would all meet at Happy Days Restaurant at Manukau – an hour or so drive for her and about an hour and a half for us.
Afterwards the three kids ran around like mad things at the local park and really enjoyed themselves.
This was working really well – when enter HOLLY, anything else I say is likely to be libellous.
As Pete's eldest daughter, she paid for him to go and snatch Bonnie from school, so she herself could have a 'ready made' family.
What a bitch! The argument was that as the father, he was entitled to have Bonnie's benefit to pay his mortgage This meant that Haydee was devastated. - so was I.
She had done nothing wrong but had had Bonnie snatched away. CYPS basically agreed that Pete and Holly had a better claim to Bonnie than Haydee, George, James and I did.
However Holly soon tired of being a solo mum and Bonnie was put into care – Haydee having, by now having had enough of the whole saga..
I have not seen or heard from Bonnie ever since.
This utopia with James and George was not to last however.
After getting summoned to the Headmaster's Office at Thames on an almost daily basis, and similar misdemeanour I at 69 really could not cope any longer.
George now says that I let him down, I can't help agreeing with him I too feel I did let him down. Quite badly in fact.
His 'support person' (Mary) had to uplift him and arrange for him to rejoin his mother in Blenheim, where his grandmother also lives, and he finished his schooling there. But I still maintain as much contact as I possibly can.
This meant that James and I were on our own. It is not true to say that all was sweetness and light, we certainly had our moments!! But at least there was now only one boy to worry about.
James subsequently also attended Thames High School, with much less drama, I am happy to say.
He showed some interest in Theatre work and for a while it looked like this would be his hobby.